Been there. It happens. Sometimes it sneaks up on us. Sometimes it sneaks in because we want to be helpful. Our well meaning intentions pull us away from our family, our partner, our home.
The sanguine mom has some great strengths! She can put together a beautiful school plan. It is probably in a binder with pretty paper and decorated with colored pencils... you are really good at this! You probably love to travel and really enjoy a change of scenery. It is likely you rearrange your furniture often :) If you can get on top of clutter, then you likely enjoy a cleaning program like Fly Lady because the tasks are short and you feel like you can accomplish something in a short time. You are generally pretty happy and love being around others that are happy. Your secondary strength is probably either Choleric or Melancholic.... both are good pairings :)
Areas you struggle... those lessons... they looked so pretty when you wrote them out and now they just don't seem as fun so you are hunting for a solution. Or you realize that planning the school year and executing it takes effort and so you may hop from one curriculum to the next trying to find the right fit. Spending money and wasting time. You might really struggle with discipline because you can't stick with punishments or you become permissive, cloaking it as positive parenting and dismiss anyone that suggests your child needs a bit of work ;)
As a mom you might be frustrated that your children rarely complete things, not realizing that you are their biggest role model. You might be the queen of "Jack of all Trades, master of None."
ADD is an extreme sanguine. Sadly, our culture medicates, often without therapy to help the imbalance more manageable. I am not saying that medication is a bad thing, but without the coping skills, the medication is just a band aid.
How do we get you to balance?
The things that are helpful to build your child's will also are great for helping you tame your own :)
Let's start with simple, small will building activities. I recently challenged a struggling sanguine client that she take the very next day and purge her dozens of started but not finished handwork projects. At first there was a pause on the phone line. Then we talked it through... "what exactly is in that stash of projects?" She thought for a moment about knitting that had been started for a projects that she knew wouldn't be finished, at least not now. I suggested that she rip out any knitting project that wasn't at least half done and set the yarn aside. Then I suggested that she pick ONE project and set herself a deadline to finish it. She later reported that it was so freeing to wind up the yarn from those ripped out projects and put them away. She later began setting small daily goals for herself - and they were getting accomplished!
You can do anything you set your mind to.... just don't try to do everything all at once.
You have this wonderful over abundance of will we just need to help you learn to use it. Think about your week. Do you get bored at home or overwhelmed by the mess, the laundry, the dishes? If it is really bad, then you may need to enlist some help to get it under control. Do IT. Do not wait another day living in a situation that is not conducive to a fun family life. If you are really struggling with this, I want you to stop right now and make a plan. Once it is made, I want you to email me. Tell me that you made your plan. Or go to our Facebook group and let's talk about your plan. There is NO shame in it. You likely just need a bit of accountability! Remember the old saying "how do you eat an elephant?" Well the answer holds true here... "one bite at a time." You will need to reward yourself regularly as you work on your projects... those rewards can NOT be more stuff. Tell yourself that you will not buy more clothes, more toys, more ANYTHING that isn't edible until your project is done. Once you are caught up, make it part of your daily rhythm to keep it that way.
I promise, your day has the same amount of time in it that mine does!
Order will actually give you MORE time. More alone time, more time with your partner, more time with your kids. More time. When we run from one spot to the next, then we have chaos, chaos is the killer of time.
If you are struggling with the artistic elements of the curriculum because they seem overwhelming, then pick ONE to master. Work only on one. Like our friend the Melancholic Mom, you can get overwhelmed, but not because of lack of confidence, you will just wing it and then feel bad.... for like ten minutes and then you are on to the next project. TAKE THE TIME. Become the master, it will be so worth it. THEN you can move on. What you will have are some really great lessons that you are the master of. Then you can move on to the next piece. If you start this week, you can easily get good at knitting AND drawing or painting. Pick something and focus. Repeat after me.... focus.... work... reward. Repeat.
Reduce your to do list. I learned long ago to have a daily to do list and a longer, on going one. Each morning (or night before) pull SIX things off the bigger list. ONLY SIX. Trust me. Get through those six and then if you have more time then you can add more, two at a time. This will help you not get overloaded.
Delegate. If you have children ages 7 and up, put them to work. They can help you get through all the chores that need to be done each day. If they make messes, they get to have the joy of helping you clean up!
Be firm. You can be a good, positive parenting, attached mama and still have children that don't act like they came from Lord of the Flies. If you are struggling holding the space, then work through our rhythm series for starters. I want you to know that you can heal your issues with authority and have happy, healthy kids that obey without beatings *wink*
What's the goal? Like any temperament, the goal is a good deal of balance. You are easily the life of the party, but you can also learn to be the boss, to have lasting empathy for a good friend and to relax with your husband.
Did you miss part 1? HERE IT IS
Part 2 HERE
Part 3 HERE
Temperament FREE Resources
https://www.waldorfessentials.com/resources-collection
YouTube Playlist on Temperament
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ0jFqbNLVg&list=PLUtqXjA39yD0jQ-Rln88uiw5KopqhE9vy
Blog Posts on Temperament
https://www.waldorfessentials.com/blog?tag=temperaments
