Crafting a Healthy Home Rhythm Part 1 - Teachability

So many things go into crafting a healthy home rhythm.  If you are starting from scratch, I am hoping this series will help.  If you are an old hat at it like me, maybe you will find a few gems in here anyway and if you are somewhere in between, I hope you find peace where you are.

Keys things to cultivate (we will touch on these in our series)

• Teachability - you have to be in a mind frame to receive direction in order for this to work.

• A good working relationship with the Divine.

• A commitment to your partner and theirs to you. Don't run! We'll talk about this!

• An understanding and respect for proper authority.

• Commitment to the task at hand - it will not be easy, but it will be so so worth it.

• Good mental health - this doesn't mean perfection, but it does mean striving - DAILY.

• What's your plan? Let's lay it out.  Why is this so important? How have you done cultivating the other steps? How do you want it to feel? Nuts and bolts without the fluff - the fluff can come later!

• The fluff.

Teachability.  Are you teachable?  Now of course you are shouting at me that you are! Stick with me.  Being teachable means that you are willing to take what you will learn or already know about rhythm and how important it is for your family and actually use it.  Otherwise... stop reading.  Being teachable doesn't mean you are perfect, it just means you are WILLING. Willing to take it on.  Willing to stumble and end up with egg on your face and get up and try again. Willing to talk to or learn how to talk to Source (God, the Universe, whatever YOU call it.) Willing to look at your partner in a new way.  Willing to ASK for what you really need. Willing. Are you?  GREAT.

To be teachable, you have to start with some knowledge.  Now you may already know this stuff, but it is a good refresher - even for a five time mommy like me - so read anyway.

 A hundred years ago Steiner wrote about the development of the human brain.  Science is just now catching up. The OFC or orbitofrontal cortex is located behind the right eye in the right hemisphere.  It is in part responsible for "a child's future prospects for healthy social and emotional functioning." That part of the brain is where we get our commonsense thinking and also the ability to read other people's signals. Those of us with children on the autism spectrum know that this is some of what is missing in our children so guess what?? They need rhythm even more than our typical kids!  This area also works with empathy, the ability to bring feeling to intellectual thought and to moderate emotion with rational thinking.  It is the part of the brain that helps us understand our experiences.  It is an important part of the brain!

"During the child's first three years, the OFC neural networks develop in direct response to the nature of his or her primary attachment relationships with other human beings. The real physical and emotional presence of others, connections with them, and empathy experienced from them are nourishment for the OFC of the infant and toddler." (Parenting the Young Child by Marcy Axness, PhD)

That is a mouthful.  If our children gain direct responses to these things during the first few years - we better make them good ones! That doesn't mean perfect - it means striving. I find that intent, prayer and overall emotional striving of the parents is a huge help in bridging gaps that may have begun during these years.  The key is to be teachable and get busy.

We also want to understand that our children need predictability and consistency. This is best formed through a good daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal rhythm.  They also need authority - we'll talk about that more in another segment, but for now, if you are giving too many choices, asking if they want to do something or giving into tantrums, that is where we start.  You are the boss Mama! I promise you are.  Own it. That doesn't mean you aren't nice. It doesn't mean you aren't loving. It doesn't mean you aren't the AP crunchy granola NVC mommy you are striving to be. It just means you are in charge.  Remember Mary Poppins?  Those children LOVED her... she was in charge. They obeyed because they knew she took care of them, loved them and did what was best for them. Now you don't have to be Mary Poppins (although I sometimes feel like her with the giant Bohemian shoulder bag I carry!) be yourself, love them... don't let them walk on you. You shouldn't be striving for a child centered home - you can be child informed, that is different.  Child centered is not healthy for anyone.

Ok... so, are you teachable? I hope so. Stay tuned for the next part.  Next time we will start breaking down your relationship with the Divine!

Find our Thinking, Feeling, Willing program details HERE.
Find our playlists on rhythm, inner work and much more HERE.