Crafting a Healthy Home Rhythm Part 3 - Working with your Partner

partnering rhythm Aug 25, 2024

This might be the hardest post of this series.  I have spent days in meditation trying to decide exactly the right words to say.  Before I begin, please do not assume offense on anything.  I always try to come from a loving and unbiased place, so if you hear judgment in what I write, come back and read it again because that is not the intent.

My single friends.  I want to talk to you first.  I was a single mom for a time.  During that time I didn't want to talk about or really hear from those with a healthy marriage.  It wasn't my reality.  I only wanted to deal with my reality.  My reality was not a lot of sleep and what seemed like a constant stream of conflict with my ex-husband and all the while trying to homeschool and figure out how to make money. It was a lot of pressure.  If you are in this spot, my heart goes out to you.  In reflecting on that time, I am also reminded of the very sweet things. The fact that I didn't...

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Relationships – Common Ground and Steiner

partnering Jul 21, 2024

One of my biggest aims in supporting homeschooling families is helping husbands and wives communicate and relate to each other.  By finding common ground, gaps can be bridged and partners can build some depth in their relationship - depth that meets the needs of both Mom and Dad.  Most of the time when a mom tells me that Dad isn't supportive of Steiner/Waldorf/homeschooling, it is just a symptom of a much larger problem.  There is a big hole in how they communicate and Steiner just makes that gap seem bigger than ever.

My husband, Erik, is a huge film buff.  He's your average man who loves to see things blowing up (that's the 10 year-old boy that lives inside most men), but he's also got a desire to understand where the filmmaker was coming from.  What we found is how Steiner's indications are alive and well in many of the films that he enjoys.  This morning I was relating to him an excerpt from "Handwork Indications" in...

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Believing in Love When You Are Single

inner work partnering Jan 05, 2024

Single mamas (and dads!) are very close to my heart.  I am talking mostly to divorced parents today. Being single has a completely different set of stress inducing frustrations.  Even if you are living on one income while married, there is generally that second person that can step up to the parenting plate and help - not so in single parent land.  Rather than this being a post on the nuts and bolts of single parent homeschooling, I want to focus on how you can take care of yourself and get back to a place of love.  Love has to be within us before it can be given to someone else. 

With all the divorces in our culture, I can only say one thing for certain... they are all different. All of them carry most of the same elements. Sadly amicable situations are NOT the norm.  The reality is that some co-parenting relationships are amicable for a time and volatile at others.  Do your best.  You can only work on you.

Working through your hurt...

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Co Parenting

parenting partnering Jan 04, 2024

Today we are going to tackle a two delicate issues...

1. Partnerships/marriages that came together because of a pregnancy.

2. Marriages that have somehow gotten so far off track that you are not in the same library, let alone the same book or on the same page.

First, while pregnancy outside of marriage used to be a taboo topic in society, today this scenario is fairly common place. Worldwide, there are more and more couples consciously deciding to have children without marrying  and those that come together after an unplanned pregnancy.  This can pose some interesting challenges in relationships and sometimes legal wrangling as well.

Marriage or not, realize that as you parent together and hopefully have a deep abiding love for each other, that this will be a daily, sometimes minute by minute undertaking.  You will have to be committed EVERYDAY, not just part of the time.  So if you didn't plan to stay with this person before you got pregnant you...

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Evaluating Your Relationship with Your Partner, Forgiving and Everything in Between

partnering Jan 03, 2024

This encompasses more than just the dynamics between husbands and wives.  I work with same sex couples, couples that live together and are not married and also with single parents - what I find, is that the issues are the same.  The same dysfunction occurs and in turn the same beauty.  My aim will be to talk to all families without making too many generalizations. Please don't take my word as gospel truth, seek confirmation on your own.  Search, ponder and pray about your own relationships and your own connections.

This will not be an easy for some.  If you are struggling, it is likely that you will be upset with me at some point.  I want to say right now that it will never be my intent to make you sad or mad and if you do find yourself in that place, please step back and look deeper.  If I strike a cord there might be a reason. Also, if I say something that just doesn't resonate with you, skip that part and come back next time.

...

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Boundaries in Relationships

parenting partnering Dec 10, 2023

Boundaries are funny things.
We are constantly worrying about them.
Boundaries with our kids.
Boundaries with our parents
Boundaries with our in-laws.
Boundaries with neighbors. 
Boundaries are everywhere.  

I tend to spend a great deal of time talking about boundaries with the families we work with. Many of us live lives much different than the rest of our families and even some of our friends. We end up needing boundaries in order to keep our children on the path we have selected - it isn't always easy and we have to constantly evaluate if we can give in to that one episode of Sponge Bob at Grandma's or that candy bar with Uncle Joe or that video game with cousin Timmy. How do you stand up without being a beastie?

Sometimes boundary issues hit much closer. A few years back, I worked with a mom that was in a marriage that wasn't happy. She worried that she was past the point of no return. Her husband continually crossed boundaries and was verbally abusive. While this is...

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Love & Respect in Parenting and Partnering

parenting partnering May 28, 2023

As I am working with more and more families, I am saddened to see something happen more and more often. We live in a society that sees teens swapping partners and having no reverence for their body as a temple. As parents we are often scratching our heads at the choices these teens make. There is no judgement from me, because some teens just make poor choices, no matter how good your parenting is, but then there are those who are coming from homes spinning out of control and we have to ask ourselves... where does it end? When will our young men and young women realize that they are sacred beings? They will understand it when we not only teach them, but show them too. They can't see it if we are modeling for them bad habits. 

Stand back. How are you speaking? How are you allowing yourself to be spoken to? What words are coming from the mouths of your teens... your partner? Are they words of love and respect? Or are they filled with bile and hatred? This topic is near...

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