Well Mrs. Bossy Pants... how are you doing today? I can poke fun at Mrs. Bossy Pants, because she is my base temperament.  As I have gotten older, I have mellowed a LOT. However... back me up against the wall and I will become Mrs. Bossy Pants to protect myself!

Mrs. Bossy Pants generally likes to be in control... prefers complete control, but will settle for partial control if she must.  She doesn't often work well with other Mrs. Bossies unless the other ones are completely competent and know what they are doing.  Then this mama can kick back a bit because she can trust another leader.  Mrs. Bossy Pants probably started planning for the new school year at least six months early and if she didn't, she will make it a priority to take a weekend and get it done.  She knows how to get things done.  She is a doer.  Being a doer is a GREAT thing!  She loves check lists and gets glee in marking things finished.

Sometimes my parenting backfires.
Does that ever happen to you?
Do you ever just start talking and somehow the wrong words are coming out and you are not sure how to stop them? 
I don't need to be perfect to be a good mom. Neither do you.

An example of my resident phlegmatic, Super Sam. Asks for his piece of comfort. He would like a full belly and a good television show. (GASP! Yes, TV!) For the phlegmatic child, no amount of TV is generally enough. It isn't that they are lazy, it is that they seek comfort. Older phlegmatic children and adults will often want to curl up with a book or even a book on tape. As a mom with children of all temperaments, I have to say that the phlegmatic is probably the most calm, most pleasant, most even tempered child to parent. UNLESS. Unless you need to go somewhere. Unless you need them to hurry up. Unless you need them to eat their breakfast so you can get out the door. Unless you have to be across town in ten minutes and they can't find their shoes or worse they know where their shoes are but they haven't even started putting them on and you asked them to do it ten minutes ago and can't they see you are in a hurry?! Then they look up at you with the sweetest eyes and tears are welling ...

In our series Crafting a Healthy Home Rhythm, I discussed mental health as an important aspect of  having a healthy rhythm and home life for your family.  Temperament is part of that mental health.  Temperament isn't something that Steiner invented, although today his work and the work that goes with Waldorf education is probably the most popular use of it.  When we read about temperament, we are usually reading about it for the children.  Most resources are written for the teacher to apply in the classroom and therefore have us as parents focusing our work completely on the child's temperament.  I believe this is very backward. My guess is that in Waldorf teacher training, they spend some time on this part of adult biography in their foundation studies, so the literature that is written, often assumes that the the adult has done this work for themselves or is at the very least working on it. Most parents are not in this position and generally only come to temperament as a means of und...

The changes at age 9 are very different from those at any other stage. I found the changes at 6 (traversed it personally 5 times) much easier, but it does give you some prep for 9. The changes at 12, 14, 16 are way easier than age 9 (at least in my experience.) I sort of think of some of the changes like this... If 6 is leaving Eden, the changes at 6 are often sadness and frustration at the loss of being small, the changes at 9, are a follow up to that. At 9, they are smacked with some of the horror of the world, they are mad about their new found independent feelings but they can't do a ton (in their eyes) about their surroundings.

I HAVE found that parents who struggle have kids that struggle more, but that being said MOST kids struggle to some degree. Most get mad, frustrated, irritable, self righteous, indignant and just plain rude at times during the change. The outbursts have a lot to do with home life, exposure to negative people AND in my opinion, temperament.

My melancholic ...

There are so many factors for us in gathering our planning and making it stick. If you can get through the rhythm part then you have half the battle won! I think looking at our own temperament is an important element in the planning and more importantly the executing of our plans. 

In general, sanguines are great planners, but execution is their weakness. Cholerics have it all planned and are ready to execute but struggle with keeping it alive. Both have a wonderful abundance of will - if it can be tamed. Phlegmatics often struggle with getting the plan in place AND executing - putting off the planning and then looking at pretty blogs online can keep us from actually DOING the work. Melancholics tend to put off the planning and the execution because they are really worried that they will mess something up. Both of these temperaments have to work on balancing by building up the will where it lacks. The will is a funny thing - balance here is key, you don't want too much or too little.